Jabba the Hut

My first boyfriend was a real piece of work. He was a 21 year old high school drop-out and he lived with his parents. To his credit; he had blonde hair, which he feathered back on the sides and the handle to his big black comb looked really good in the back pocket of his 501 jeans.

The girls thought he was hot, and he could buy beer so, I kept him around.

One of our constant fights was over money. I worked, went to school and saved my money. He didn't. His ultimate relationship consisted of waking up at 1PM, picking me up from school at 2:30, mooching money off of me while he drove me to work, spending whatever I gave him, repeat the next day.

If he got a job, it never lasted long. He worked construction, in a rental yard and for a water softener company but the job I remember was when he worked for a fast food supplier.

I think his paycheck actually had the fast food company name on it but he didn't work in the brightly colored store with a drive up window. He worked in the factory that baked the sesame seed buns.

He used to crawl out of bed at 4:30 in the morning in order to be working at 5:30. He wore a big jumpsuit kinda outfit and a hair net and he came home smelling like chemicals.

Anyone that has worked in the food industry has gross stories about what they did to the food. Most employees are teenagers that haven't figured out how to use deodorant or that the red pustules on their faces actually go away when you wash.

My neanderthal was just like his co-workers, stupid and immature. Their favorite game was how big a lugie they could spit into the batter without getting caught. Eventually mine was caught and we returned to the 1PM wake up ritual.

I tried to eat at that big brightly colored fast food restaurant after that but, each time I did all I could see was a lugie the size of Jabba the Hut and my hunger miraculously subsided.


Come on now - your turn! What gross restaurant stories do you have?